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Saturday, May 11, 2019

Bachelor's Life- Final episode

After about half an hour of female fury inspired fight between Tina and Funke, they were finally separated. It was after the fight I learnt both of them knew each other. 

According to Funke, Tina had been in the habit of snatching her boyfriends. Tina had denied she was snatching me but was only a friend visiting. Tina, who was really busty had her top torn in such a way her nipples were the only part covered. I could even notice the eyes of the elderly man they were explaining to, constantly glued on her boobs.

The ignominy I suffered in having my private life discussed openly to the ears of neighbors and strangers was award winning. 

It was really annoying hearing the elderly man who eventually settled the matter offering me unsolicited advice on my personal lifestyle and the need to be focused. (Imagine!) The humiliation did not stop there. 

After the matter had been settled and I had received all types of stares ranging from pity to ridicule, my direct neighbor, a woman probably in her mid-forties, called me aside to stress the need to have one stable relationship because according to her, having multiple relationships could lead to me getting infected with sexually transmitted diseases.

After the crowd had dispersed and Funke had been led away by someone who knew her in the area, I was mildly surprised to see Tina silently slipping into my apartment after all that had happened. It was not like she had much choice after Funke had left her half naked.

After listening to my neighbor more out of courtesy than anything, I went to my apartment with a hugely deflated ego. So much for the best laid plans! I was a bit confused as to what my approach to Tina should be. 

Without saying a word, I put on the TV and went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat. I was totally famished. I put rice on the fire and then got one of my vests which i meant to hand it over to her. She looked at me, shook her head and gave the longest hiss I had ever heard.

Normal thing (No be babes?)

“I know you are upset and I am also. I blame myself for all this but what has happened has happened. I didn’t realize that babe was that kind of razz girl and am sorry for the embarrassment I caused. But at least you need to change your clothes and have a shower. Then we can discuss things”

Still no response. She didn’t move an inch but continued staring coldly at the TV screen. Then I dropped the vest near her and went to the kitchen. I returned ten minutes later to see her in my vest. I smiled. That’s a good sign.

She still had the cold look on her face so I sat quietly idling away on my phone. If there was one thing I had learnt from my frequent frolicking with girls, it’s that if you want a girl to come to you, you ignore or pretend to ignore her.

This time, it did not work.

She completely ignored me and continued staring at the screen without saying a word. Even the well-cooked plate of rice I placed before her was left untouched. At that point, I secretly wondered the wisdom of having her sleep in the same bed with me. Who knows what she could do?

Weirdly, that same still voice in me asked why I should not sleep on the same bed with her. After all the trouble, I might as well get some reward for my ‘troubles’. After hours of eerie silence, I stood up to go to bed.

I must have slept for less than an hour when I was awoken by the feel of Tina’s slipping into the bed beside me. My sense went into overdrive. Was I to try my luck or just let things slide?

With those boobs I was seeing, there was only one option. I knew however that before I could try anything, I had to clear the air on the episode earlier in the evening.

“Tina, I know you are really mad at me and you have every reason to be. It’s a mess and I feel really bad myself. How could I have known that that girl was such a low life area girl like that? I promise to make it up to you. Just overlook it.”

She didn’t move a muscle.

“Oya let me help you massage those muscles that the idiot strained.”

That seemed to do the trick as she then turned to face me and said;

“Don’t you dare come near me o. You are really really silly. You think this is a joke abi? Imagine the embarrassment and disgrace you gave me in front of everyone. All because of that low life bitch!”

She rambled on for the next thirty minutes whilst I kept trying to placate her. I threw in a few jokes at intervals to lighten her mood and after a while, everything seemed normal and after telling her how the old men in my area were staring at her boobs, we both laughed. I then stood up, microwaved her food and brought same to the room.

After eating and gisting a while more, she said

“Let me go and sleep abeg. See you tomorrow”.Then she turned to face the wall and started playing with her phone.

Whilst I am not one to give up easily, I did not try to push my luck and turned to my side of the bed to sleep. I was satisfied that we were talking again. Sleep did not come quick so I picked up my phone and started fiddling with it. Some minutes later, a sms came in. i wondered who it was that would be sending me a text message at that time of the day.

I opened the message. It was from Funke. It read;

“Shebi you are still with that whore? Just know that it’s over between us. Don’t ever call me or come to my house again. Dey your lane!”

“Before nko? Abeg delete my number!” I pressed the send button.

About five minutes later, another sms came in. I was beginning to be irritated by Funke. I opened the sms. It was from Tina. It read;

“Seems my laps are feeling sore. I think I need that massage now."

I smiled. Game on!


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