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Thursday, July 11, 2019

God Has Blessed Me?



Perched on a wooden stool in my provision store, I watched as a little black ant tried to carry a crumb of bread. I watched as the bread would drop, a huge weight for it to hold on to and as the ant would pick it back up.

 And after a few minutes, I watched as the ant crawled away with its crumb of bread. Lucky ant, I thought. I felt a sense of joy that the ant was able to make it.

Turning on my stool, I searched elsewhere for another form of entertainment. No more ants. I wanted to watch more ants. I didn’t want to ponder my situation. I didn’t want to think of my wife and how swollen she had become.

 I get that pregnant women are big but did she have to be so big? She was big everywhere. Her face, her nose, her feet.  Oh and her stomach. That was just too big.
    
 "Mr…, Mr…, Are you ready to sell or not?’ I heard.  I was jolted back to reality to face a customer. Her hands were on her waist as she tapped her feet.

‘Hian, What nonsense.  Does it look like I have time to waste?  I can just go to another shop,” Miss Impatience carried on. Imagine o. Small girl. She was not even up to fifteen years. I just wanted to drag those tiny ears.

‘Sorry, ma. Abeg, no vex’, I said. What can I say? Customer is king… or queen in this case. I really needed money.
‘Wetin you want?’ I asked.

‘Give me soap’
‘How many?’
‘Just one’

‘Just one’
‘Okay ma’
‘Stop calling me ma,’ Miss Impatient said. ‘Do I look old enough to be a mother? Ehn?’
Okay, So Miss impatient was also Miss rude.

Friday, June 28, 2019

Headaches And Admirers

                                 


Sweat trickled down my face, the only things that kept the office ventilated were a small standing fan and small window. The fan sputtered every five minutes or so. Files were stacked against the four walls of the small office from top to bottom, making the stuffiness palpable.

 I fanned myself with a piece of folded A4 paper, as I worked on the stack of files on my table.
A client, who had no business being in my office walked in smiling. I say he had no business, because he did not come for any sane reason.

 I did not return the smile.

“Lepa ti ko ni imi,” he said.

The heat was smothering and I was on my last nerve, and there he was calling me some senseless nickname. I paid him no mind.

“Ahn ahn na,” he said. “Can’t you hear me? Am I not the only one that calls you by that name?”
I frowned; perhaps that would make him go away. It did the opposite. He pulled the chair opposite me and sat down.

“Shey you go give me your number na? So we can hook up sometime.”
He winked at me.

“No.”
“Okay, Okay, I get it. You don’t want to give a stranger your number abi? But I’m no stranger. Am I not the only one who calls you Lepa ti ko ni imi, so when you hear that name, you would know its me.”

I kneaded my temple muscles, I was in no mood for this nonsense. How in heavens name did giving me a nickname make us acquaintances.

As if on cue, by divine comedy, my boss shouted my name. I had never been so glad to hear her scream out my name in her high pitched voice, as I was at that moment. I stood up without saying a word and went to her office.

I ensured I stayed at her office for a long while, making unnecessary comments and bringing up unnecessary issues. After thirty minutes, my boss got tired of me.
“Shade, you can leave now”
I smiled, enough time.

“Thank you ma”; I replied giggling.
She just shook her head as I took off.
I returned to my office and fortunately, he was gone.

About an hour later, another client walked in, one I had never seen around. He sported dark shades, an afro and a grey coloured suit.
He stopped on his way midway to my desk, removed his shades, smiled then resumed walking, with what he probably assumed was “swagger”.

“Baby, I like girls with this your physique”; he said using his hands to draw my physique in the air.
I sighed. Oh brother, here we go again. I wondered what kind of soap I used to have my bath that day, that caused all this attention.

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Gift Of Crabs



Jimi twirled the pen in his hand, gazing intently at the woman in front of him.
“Sade, how long have we known each other?” he asked suddenly.
“One year,” she answered hesitantly.
“And how long have we been dating?”
“Six months,” she replied a bit faster this time.
Why was he asking all these questions on a Tuesday afternoon? As if he was reading her mind, he said:
“You know these questions have a purpose.  In the six months I have dated you, the question of compatibility has never come up.  We have both carried on under the assumption that we were suited for each other.”
He paused.
Sade began to shift uncomfortably in her chair.  Jimi ignored her body language and continued.
“You know most men don’t date women for their intellect.  What initially attracts a woman to a man is her body.  Specifically, her ‘attack,’ ” he said, patting his chest, “and her ‘defense’ are relevant features.  A pretty face is just jara.  There are certain men who want their women to come fully loaded with a formidable attack, the kind that does not require the additional services of a padded bra,” he said, using his hands to form the shape of a full, well-rounded set of mammary glands.  From his antics, Sade surmised that he was trying to describe a set of double-D cups.  He wasn’t done though.
” … And there are others who prefer that their women have a heavy and capable ‘defense,’ the kind that can comfortably support a glass of water, and if necessary, a complete 3-seater sofa.”
By now, he had gotten up from his chair and had migrated to a spot beside her, using his hands to form the shape of a firmer, fuller butt.  Sade uncrossed her legs and leaned forward slightly.
“So, which class of men do you belong to?” she asked coolly.
“You’re an intelligent girl.  I’m sure you know the answer to that question.  I am a member of both classes.  Now, I have convinced myself for …. how long have we been dating again …?”
“Six months.”
“Exactly.  For six months, I have convinced myself that your intellect was enough to make up for your obvious deficits, but I am tired of preaching to myself.  Anyone with eyes can see that you are both flat-chested and have absolutely no defense.  In fact, my brothers are more endowed in the defense department than you.  I think I can safely tell you that I’m moving on.  It’s over.”
Sade said nothing.  The crooked smile she had on her face the entire time Jimi was decorating her with insults, was still there.  His speech had not wiped off that smile.  It was now his turn to feel uncomfortable.
“Oya say something now … “
“Why? I rather enjoyed your speech.  You must have rehearsed it a couple of times, and I am certain that you’re not done.  You still haven’t told me who you’re leaving me for.”
Jimi was shocked.  This girl was not floored by his break-up speech, and was even demanding to know who his new girlfriend was.  He began to worry.
“What?! You’re not entitled to know that.  It’s none of your–“
“Oh, but I already know.  I just wanted you to say it with your mouth.  Since you’re not going to be a gentleman and finish what you started, I’ll do it for you.  It’s my kid sister, Bose, isn’t it?”
Jimi did not say a word.  He was dumfounded and began to ask himself how she knew.  He had covered his tracks very well and taken extra precautions, but–
“Don’t trouble yourself, ehn.  You’ll be happy to learn that she has Herpes.  In a few days, when you start itching and scratching your–” and at this juncture, she briefly glanced at the area below his waist, and then back at his face, “–you’ll know what your second early birthday present is. Two special gifts, just for you.”
Picking up her purse and leaving an astonished Jimi behind, she turned around and added: “I hope the crabs eat you for lunch, Mr. Attack and Defense.  Happy Birthday o!”
By Sharon Salu (courtesy naijastories.com)

Thursday, June 06, 2019

A Touch of Spite (1)



True loves are the ones you reminisce about. The kinds you remember with a pang and an ache. They are always in past tense, because you never really know love till you are out of it. 

You also never forget the worst romantic involvements of your life. It is a well known fact; love and hate are siblings, very identical.

The other day I saw an ad for a writing competition with the theme, A Touch of Spice. They wanted a steamy love story. These writer people and their captions. They believe all experiences are to be chronicled.

 If I were to write a story about each of my relationships, the caption would be a touch of spite, or better, a handful of spite.

I ran my mind over some of my relationships, ticking them off one after the other till I got to a particular one that refused to be ticked off. That relationship was terrible.

 You see, they give you no warning in the beginning, these terrible ones. They always start up like the best thing to ever happen to a man. You keep feeling lucky and blessed until the ultimate shock.

 It is not anybody’s fault; spice and spite are so similar that if, while in the middle of the act, Spice goes to the bathroom and returns as Spite, you will not know the difference till the next morning, or the morning after.

And the girls in such relationships are always exquisite. The one in this particular relationship of mine is not like the others you have read about, or even thought about. 

You have heard people claim that someone is perfect and you have lied to your lovers that they were perfect. But I assure you, this one is no lie; she is perfect.

 I can repeat if you don’t believe. It is not a beauty one can capture on canvas or on any lens. God is the only artist that can draw her, and if He tries He might not even get her as He drew her in the beginning.

She is fair. Not screaming fair, but the creamy kind that is a blend of all light colours. Of course you know all beautiful girls are tall and slim, like mermaids and Sicklers.

 Her eyes cannot be described in words. If they fill with tears yours too will. This kind of girl you do not resist; this kind of girl you do not disagree with.

But I can really not convince you. I have only described her here like a work of art. You need to see her as she is.

I met her at a junction, the bus stop near my house. A taxi had just dropped her off. I tried very hard not to stare. She was all light and bright things, and she was walking towards me.

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Touch Of Spite (2)



See, she did not break my heart. I am serious, she didn’t. Yes, I did not eat for some days, but that had nothing to do with her. I just did not have the appetite.

For the whole week that she refused to speak to me or see me, I had no hunger for food.

I was just worried.
That I did not date another female after her for more than a year didn’t mean that my heart was broken. I am a man, we do not get heartbroken.

Do not argue with me, it is my heart not yours. If a body’s heart gets broken, the body dies. My heart was just fine, still is, thank you.

Nothing really happened too. There was no offense on my part. The last time we were together, it was all blissful panting and enjoyable sighs.

This was routine. So when she did not take my calls the next morning, it was no issue for me. I began to worry when she did not call me or pick my calls the next day too.

Then she sent a text telling me that she wanted to be alone for some time because she wanted to think through some things.

I have never put much stock in what a woman would be thinking, so I felt I just needed to up my game, even though I was sure I was up there with cupid and the other masters of romance.

So I took the Art of Seduction and marked some pages and underlined some great ideas. Then I persevered and wrote some other great insights at the book edges and between the lines.

 But when a girl is evil, there is no strategy that will bring her back. That great book failed me.

Ok, it earned me one last audience with her for some minutes, but I don’t know if that should count because that interview that occurred at her door step was terrible.

When her door opened, joy flooded my heart; I observed that her eyes were a bit swollen and red. I also observed that she did not let me in.

“Sweetie, what happened? What is going on? Did I do something wrong?”

She raised her eyes at me, and for the umpteenth time I wondered what God was playing at when he made those eyes.

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Bachelor's Life- Final episode


After about half an hour of female fury inspired fight between Tina and Funke, they were finally separated. It was after the fight I learnt both of them knew each other. 

According to Funke, Tina had been in the habit of snatching her boyfriends. Tina had denied she was snatching me but was only a friend visiting. Tina, who was really busty had her top torn in such a way her nipples were the only part covered. I could even notice the eyes of the elderly man they were explaining to, constantly glued on her boobs.

The ignominy I suffered in having my private life discussed openly to the ears of neighbors and strangers was award winning. 

It was really annoying hearing the elderly man who eventually settled the matter offering me unsolicited advice on my personal lifestyle and the need to be focused. (Imagine!) The humiliation did not stop there. 

After the matter had been settled and I had received all types of stares ranging from pity to ridicule, my direct neighbor, a woman probably in her mid-forties, called me aside to stress the need to have one stable relationship because according to her, having multiple relationships could lead to me getting infected with sexually transmitted diseases.

After the crowd had dispersed and Funke had been led away by someone who knew her in the area, I was mildly surprised to see Tina silently slipping into my apartment after all that had happened. It was not like she had much choice after Funke had left her half naked.

After listening to my neighbor more out of courtesy than anything, I went to my apartment with a hugely deflated ego. So much for the best laid plans! I was a bit confused as to what my approach to Tina should be. 

Without saying a word, I put on the TV and went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat. I was totally famished. I put rice on the fire and then got one of my vests which i meant to hand it over to her. She looked at me, shook her head and gave the longest hiss I had ever heard.

Normal thing (No be babes?)

“I know you are upset and I am also. I blame myself for all this but what has happened has happened. I didn’t realize that babe was that kind of razz girl and am sorry for the embarrassment I caused. But at least you need to change your clothes and have a shower. Then we can discuss things”

Still no response. She didn’t move an inch but continued staring coldly at the TV screen. Then I dropped the vest near her and went to the kitchen. I returned ten minutes later to see her in my vest. I smiled. That’s a good sign.

She still had the cold look on her face so I sat quietly idling away on my phone. If there was one thing I had learnt from my frequent frolicking with girls, it’s that if you want a girl to come to you, you ignore or pretend to ignore her.

This time, it did not work.

She completely ignored me and continued staring at the screen without saying a word. Even the well-cooked plate of rice I placed before her was left untouched. At that point, I secretly wondered the wisdom of having her sleep in the same bed with me. Who knows what she could do?

Weirdly, that same still voice in me asked why I should not sleep on the same bed with her. After all the trouble, I might as well get some reward for my ‘troubles’. After hours of eerie silence, I stood up to go to bed.

I must have slept for less than an hour when I was awoken by the feel of Tina’s slipping into the bed beside me. My sense went into overdrive. Was I to try my luck or just let things slide?

With those boobs I was seeing, there was only one option. I knew however that before I could try anything, I had to clear the air on the episode earlier in the evening.

“Tina, I know you are really mad at me and you have every reason to be. It’s a mess and I feel really bad myself. How could I have known that that girl was such a low life area girl like that? I promise to make it up to you. Just overlook it.”

She didn’t move a muscle.

“Oya let me help you massage those muscles that the idiot strained.”

Thursday, May 02, 2019

Bachelor Life- Episode 4


I had totally forgotten I had given her my address. Who would have thought she would come to my house directly? 

My plan had been to pick her up from the bus stop close to my apartment. I silently prayed she would miss her way. Problem was that my house can easily be located and was only a stone’s throw from the Bus Stop.

Nervous and panicky, I quickly roused Funke and told her I had to go pick my mum who was visiting from the airport. She noticed my impatient nudging’s for her to leave quickly and asked;

“Na wa o. Why are you so much in a hurry? Are you pursuing me?”

“Noo nau. Not that. It’s just that her flight will land in 2o minutes and I am late already.” I replied.

“So when are we seeing again?” (Which kain babe be dis na? we say make you go, you dey ask when we go see).

“Don’t worry. We‘ll see before the week runs out. I even want to take you to the movies. There’s this movie I want you to watch. I lied.

‘Ok. Am set. Let’s go’, she replied reluctantly.

My phone rang again and I checked the caller; it was Tina yet again. This time, she kept calling continually. I knew she must be pretty close by. I didn’t and couldn’t pick the call.

“Pick your call na, ” Funke said staring at the ringing phone.

“It’s my oga at work. I know why he is calling. I don’t want to pick or cut the call,” I lied yet again.

As we left my apartment, I did not bother locking the door. By now, I was basically a bundle of nerves. I could not think straight.

Monday, April 22, 2019

Bachelor Life -Episode 3




After entertaining her with the baddest shawama in my area along with a cool can of malt drink, I knew I had to ‘do it’ tonight. One rule of the game- you hit it the first or maximum second visit or you can as well forget it. The problem I faced was how to get her to come to my room. Under the guise of showing her around my crib, I invited her to my room to show her around. She simply stood at the door refusing to join me on the bed where I had now nestled myself. Then she went back to the sitting room.

(Stubborn geh)
I was not to be deterred. If Ali does not go to the mountain, the mountain will go to Ali. I went to
where she sat.

I started by playing with her hair. She didn’t stop me so I got encouraged and became bolder.  Then the first hug which was cut short by her pushing me away.

‘What’s wrong with you? What's with all this you are doing?’ she said looking straight at me.
Then I moved closer to her while touching her thighs and acting like I did not hear a word of her earlier protest.

Hope you had a nice day today?’ I asked. Poor question but I just had to distract her from noticing the ‘actions’ being performed by my fingers.

‘Yeah’ Funke replied, looking suspicious.

 ‘You know I love you so much?’ I asked becoming a little desperate while smiling and sweating at the same time, my WMD already beginning to charge.

Funke noticed this and moved further back on the settees. ‘Ya I know. But don’t you think this is too early? You need to stop this or I will go.’ (Go where?)

How? Why would you want me to stop? I want you. I love you’ (At this stage, I could have said I loved Osama!), my sense of reasoning controlled by my rising libido.

“But we just met four days ago and you are beginning to ask for sex....is that what you want from me?’ (You should expect this from me dear; after all I am not impotent!).

Realizing I am beginning to lose the game slowly, I knew I had to raise my game.
“Not what you think sweetheart” (This time I adopt the love poet approach the love poet approach and the sweet lies follow).

“You are the only girl in my life and I will never hurt you. Well, if you don’t want it then its ok by me’ (Na lie! What is ok? You must do o. This line almost always works!)

Looking at me pitifully, she said softly; ‘Please don’t feel sad, it’s not that I don’t love you, is just that am scared’. At this point, I decided there was no need for words anymore.

 Somehow, I can’t explain how I found my fingers in between her thighs. I prodded further and felt wetness between her legs. (Game on! Second line of defense broken).

I knew I had succeeded, with one finger still ‘prodding’ her thighs, I started kissing her. Before long and seeing her responsiveness to my moves, I lifted her up whilst still kissing her, took her to my ‘Maracana stadium’ (my room, where else?), gently placed her on the bed, unzipped my fly and unleashed the ‘Krakon’.

Friday, April 12, 2019

Bachelor Life (Episode 2)

    



I was jolted out of my self-imposed reverie by a knock on my door that I had now become all too familiar with. That has to be Funke. Problem is I wasn’t expecting her and I just didn’t want her around that time. Any other time was fine, but not today. Today was all about Tina, no other person. I was expecting Tina to hit my crib.

 The last we had spoken, she had told me she was in the cab to my place but was stuck in traffic.
I had mentally calculated the distance from Ojota where she was coming from and my place, and realized that plus or minus, within 45 minutes to an hour max she would get to my place.

The last thing I needed was Funke being around. Having Tina come around was another story entirely. Let’s just say a lot of money, time, poetry and energy had gone into this venture. If you wonder why I had gone to that length to get her to come over, a brief description of her physical features will convince you. That description has to wait though ‘cos I‘ve got a more pressing problem:

 Funke.
Sweating, worried and confused, I asked;
“Who is that?
‘Funke’ came the reply.

Damn! My worst fears confirmed. But she did not call before coming! I cursed under my breath. I had to think of something. I cannot have Funke come around and spoil the best laid plans.

Funke was a lady I had met in the bus on one of those days I had decided not to drive down to the office. Traffic that week had been hellish and I had decided to take the quicker and easier route of taking public bus.
Funke sat beside me in the bus from CMS to Stadium; from there I was to connect to my crib. Work had been stressful and to ease my pain and distract me from the  heat generated by the slow moving traffic, I scrolled through the videos on my phone and started  watching ‘Pacific Rim’, a movie I had saved earlier on my phone and did not notice her beside me.

Five minutes into the trip and apparently feeling inconvenienced by her sitting position, she beckoned on me and I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“Can you please shift a little?” she asked.

I took out my earphones and quickly did a scan of this person ‘disturbing’ me and making me pause my movie. The scan result came back good. The hips were a pure piece of art. Even in her sitting position, the leggings she had on did very little to hide the superbly sculptured behind she was backing. I gladly obliged. Stupidly though, I didn’t capitalize on that opportunity to start a conversation.

For the remainder of the journey, my brain went into overdrive trying to get the perfect opportunity to start a conversation with her.
Unfortunately, I just could not think of anything. I silently prayed that she would not get down before the final bus stop where I would alight.

My prayer was answered (I thought someone said the prayer of a sinner was an abomination to God…issh!) We both got down at the last bus stop and if her voluptuousness was noticeable from her sitting position, then seeing her fully stand not only made me respect God’s artistry on her, it also made my WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction) give a ‘21 gun salute’.
‘Controlled’ by sight without any obvious strategy to strike a conversation, I walked up to her and simply said;



Seems you are going my way, can I tag along?”

She looked at me and her look of disgust was palpable. She hissed and walked away from me briskly.
The feel of embarrassment was unbelievable. I could notice the telling stares and smiles on the faces of people nearby who had seen me walk up to her and her subsequent reaction. I had to save face. I then remarked audibly.

‘Ok. Later now!’ A pretentious call and I briskly walked away silently cursing my luck.

Within a few hours, I had forgotten about Funke. Aided by the European Champions league match I watched that evening and a local dish I had bought from an eatery on my way home, I had unconsciously consigned the afternoon’s experience as one of those not so memorable ‘hunting expeditions’.

A good night's sleep and I was out early for work the next morning.
I started out towards the bus stop to get a vehicle to work and had barely walked for fiveminutes, when I basically bumped into Funke; the same lady who embarrassed me the day before. This time I was never going to allow her slip from my hands. I realized I had to up my game;

Game on!


***

On sighting Funke, I immediately remembered it was the same girl who had ignored me the previous day. Our eyes locked and after a few secondsof staring at each other, she looked away and smiled. (Correct! good sign).
“So thanks for embarrassing me in public yesterday. I only wanted to be a friend you know?”
For a few seconds, it seemed she was torn between deciding to walk away and replying me. She chose the latter;

“How did I embarrass you?” she asked trying to sound and look disinterested.
“Anyways, it doesn’t matter. My name is Shola.’

“Funke’ she replied curtly. (Playing hard to get eh?)
 “Madam relax nau. Am only trying to make a conversation here. I don’t plan to take you from your boyfie na.”

She laughed. (First line of defense broken).
"Very funny. Well, am also making a conversation. Just don’t like players and guys stalking me in the streets’, she replied.
"Eh ya. Am sorry. First; I am not a player. Second, I only wanted to get to meet you and didn’t know how I could if I didn’t approach you then. Still I apologize.” I said using my most ‘phonetised’ English.

"Hmmm. Ok o. Am taking my bus here’. She said stopping at some point at the bus stop.
Ok. Can I have your phone number and BB pin? I asked.
“Here…08023.”(lemme keep the number secret ‘cos of some sharp guys).

"Am not giving you my pin. Call me first. You have to earn the pin.” She said with a smile, then hopped on the next available bus.
Four nights later after regular calls and bbm chats (oh! I sure did earn the pin), she was in my house. I opened the door to see Funke looking as sexy as sexy can get, she was a different girl from the girl I saw four days before.

The girl I saw was cute and sexy; the girl before me was bad ass!

Her cologne smelt nice and she wore a rather tight skirt which really accentuated her curves. It seemed like my WMD also noticed her beauty as it started acting uncontrollably. Only my excuse of getting her a drink and subsequent ‘adjusting’ made the stupid thing stop from embarrassing me further...


  To be continued


 By Ayoks (Courtesy naijastories.com)


Sunday, March 31, 2019

Bachelor Life (Episode 1)





I sat on my sofa staring blankly at the screen.
A little tired, I had just finished seeing an American film titled ‘Bachelor’ and I couldn’t help but mentally slither through the whole concept of bachelorhood.

For the guys, nothing beats having that feel of freedom; freedom from parents, freedom from a nagging wife and freedom from commitments. No better phase in a guy’s life does he get all these than when he remains a bachelor.

Weirdly, being a bachelor has its perks and difficulties. The perks I will come to later but being a bachelor without them girls can easily be likened to being stuck alone in a desert with the feeling of everyone having gone on an outer space travel.

But if you are a bachelor and you have the control number of the girls, then one of the perks is having the world literally in your pocket.

Plus if you are a bachelor like me, a handsome lawyer with a sense of humor rivaling that of a comedian, intelligence like that of a nerd, a salary from an oil exploration company job enough to comfortably support a family of ten, an SUV car and an apartment in the most posh area in Surulere, Lagos, then the world isn’t just in your pocket, it stays in your pocket and is zipped in your pocket forever.

The feeling of empowerment and freedom was enjoyable enough for me to ignore the many pressures from the different quarters in my family to get married. Marriage can wait.
I was not in a hurry to stop ‘living the life’.

I had always had a thing for the ladies. Luckily enough for me, I learnt early enough that to get your dream lady did not always have to be all about the Benjamins. Playing your cards right and saying the right words at the right time were key in the game of ‘girl hunting’. If girl hunting was an art, I would easily be termed the ‘J├Ągermeister’.

Whilst having the extra cash made my choice of women classier these days, I always had my regular flow of women even when I didn’t have much from my days as a youth corper.
I wasn’t always the randy guy. In fact, I was a virgin till my 500 level in the university. I was aged 24. I had grown up having nerds and ‘spirikoko’ guys as the core of my friend’s circle. I unconsciously believed having a girlfriend was a ‘sin’.

All that was to change from the moment I met Bimbo.

I had met Bimbo in my 400levels. Bimbo had a lovely personality and a chuckle that melt hearts. She also had those kinds of booties you will usually see in Jo'burg, South Africa. She was blessed with a firm, rounded and protruding booty held by a tiny waist and a flat tummy giving her the perfect hourglass shape. Bimbo and I had met in fellowship on campus. I was an usher in fellowship and a diligent one at that. I guess I must have been too diligent that particular night because only a diligent eye could have noticed the size of the booty from the distance I was positioned.

From then on, my eyes stayed glued to her like a radar locked missile. I just couldn’t concentrate throughout the service and once service was over, I glided through the crowd to where she sat.


                                                      


Unlike present day, I was still very shy back then and had not thought of mentally preparing a pick-up line. I just stood right in front of her not knowing what to say. Her eyes locked on to mine and she smiled. I looked away embarrassed.
‘Hi usher’. she quipped.
‘Hello’ came my weak and feeble reply. “i..er…em…was wondering if you have the  offering envelope?”
(Every time I look back and remember that night, I still get embarrassed. Jeez! That had to be a contender for one of the dumbest pick-up lines ever!).
Funny you. Why would I need one? Service is over remember?” she asked, still having that smile etched all over her face. Why don’t you be a gentleman and walk me to my room?”
Oh ok. Why not? (Phew! That was a get out of jail card she played there. Everything is working far beyond what I expected).

I walked her to Idia hall and by the time we had finished gisting, I had concluded in one part of my mind that I had met ‘the special one’.
If it all went well that night, it was to become better in the weeks that followed. It seemed as if she was practically waiting for me all her life! This was 2003. GSM phones had just been introduced into the Nigerian market and I and Bimbo were a few of the lucky ones who had a phone to use on campus.

Despite the rather high rate for calls and text messages, my school allowances went into recharging my phone and calling Bimbo. Calls on an hourly basis and text messages to discuss the most mundane issues became the norm and within weeks, we had developed a bond. (Of course by this time, sex was not part of my lexicon yet).

That bond was to last a few weeks till she decided to attend foundation class for fellowship members and she met the Bible Study Secretary. Bro. Seun.

Our usual meetings started drying up with excuses of having to attend lectures, discussion groups, and foundation classes. Within three weeks, we basically stopped seeing. She also stopped picking my calls and depression started setting in for me. I ‘died’ any time a mutual friend informed me of seeing Bimbo with this same Bible study guy. I felt ‘chanced’ and ‘cheated’. I was only rescued from the torture by a three month ASUU strike that ensured I got Bimbo out of my mind.

On resumption in school after the strike, I was to get the biggest shocker of my life. After a Wednesday meeting, the fellowship pastor had announced to the full congregation that night that the Bible study secretary, Bro. Seun had been engaged to Bimbo. My Bimbo! The announcement literally had the effect of a magnitude 12.0 earthquake on my legs and I was literally shaking till I got back in my room.

After three days of ‘mourning’, self-pity and anger, I rose up and made some life changing decisions. I was quitting the fellowship, I was quitting the ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ persona and I was losing my virginity.
And that’s where it all began for me. Sit back and take a tour of  my bachelor world of sexual escapades and self-discovery.

By the way, my name is Shola.


 To be continued








Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Forever (9) Finale




   Her cell phone rang, she checked the caller ID and smiled when she saw it was King.

“Hi,” she said happily.
 ‘Hi to you too.”

 “You sound happy.”
“Oh, I’m very happy.”

 “Good.”
 “How are you?”
“I’m very fine.”
 “So, what’s up?”

 “I’ll like to have dinner with you tonight.”
“Hmmm. Business, celebratory, casual or formal?”
 “I’m supposed to figure all that out?” 

Alewa laughed. “Yes. So I’ll know what to wear.”
 “I’m but a man Alewa. Just wear anything you want, you look beautiful in anything.” Alewa was silent for a while. 

“That didn’t help at all.” 

“How about hoping-to-celebrate-something-dinner?”

 “Okay, that’s better.”

 “We aim to please.” 

 She giggled. “Where do we meet? And what time?” 

“I’ll come pick you, just be ready by 6pm.” 

“Okay then. You’re not going to give me any hint about what you’re hoping to celebrate?” 

“Not a hint.”
 “Is Georgina going to be there?”

 “It’s just you and I babe.”

 “Hmmm, that just got my curiosity level to 99%.”

  He laughed. “You’ll just have to wait to satisfy that 99% curiosity. See you later.”

 “Okay, bye.” She hung up. 

Alewa could not imagine what the call was about but she guessed she would have to wait to find out. 

 ***

Alewa and King were settled at their table about 6:45pm. It had taken them about forty minutes to get to the restaurant they were to have dinner at. 

You look really beautiful tonight Alewa.” King said.

 “Thank you King. You look handsome yourself.” She smiled. 

“I didn’t say that to get a compliment out of you. I meant it; you always take my breath away, even dressed in pajamas with your hair uncombed.” 

Alewa laughed. “That feels like a very long time ago.”

 “That’s because you’ve grown so much since then.”

 “Very true. But I did mean what I said. You know what I used to call you?” 

What?” he looked in her eyes and smiled. Alewa’s heart skipped a beat at that smile. 





“This handsome devil,” she whispered.

 King laughed. “A devil? Why that?”

 “Because you always made me do things I didn’t want to do.” 

“I’m hoping I can get you to do what you want to do today.”

 “What’s that?”

 He took her hand. “You know I love you right?” 

“Yes. I love you too King, you’ve been so awesome to me.” 

 He shook his head. “Not like that. I mean, I really love you.”

 “Oh….but King, you know that’s not wise.” 

 “Why not?”

 “Because of my condition. I don’t ever want to put you in that position.”

 “Alewa, you’re not putting me in anything. I’m choosing to be in if you’ll let me. Ever since the day I met you, my life hasn’t been the same. That day, I knew I will be a part of your life in some way, and I stuck around even when you made it very difficult.”

 He smiled. She returned his smile. “King, this disease is not going to go away.”

 “Don’t say that. There’s nothing impossible for God. Besides, there are measures to ensure both of us are safe in a relationship, as long as you keep taking your drugs.” 

She was surprised. “You’ve done your homework on this.”

 “Yes I have. And I believe we can make it work.”
 “I’ll like nothing more. But what about Georgina?”

He looked puzzled. “What about her?” 

“I got the impression you guys were more than friends, especially on her part.”

 “Alewa, Georgina is just a very good friend of mine. I never gave her the impression I wanted more.”

 “It didn’t stop her from hoping though.”

 “Well, I assure you I didn’t encourage her in any way.” 

“Okay.”

 “So, will you have me?”

 “I’m willing to try, but I’m so scared.”

 “Why?”

 “You know why.”

 “Believe me, I’m in for the good times and the bad too.”

 
  “Okay King. I trust you.”

 “We’ll take it one day at a time until forever.” He said and kissed her hand. 

Alewa smiled and nodded. “One day at a time until forever.”


  The  End

 
 Thanks for staying with us till the end of Alewa's captivating story. Our next series starts this weekend. Watch out!!



Monday, March 11, 2019

Forever (8)





"If you’re interested, I can refer you to the therapist I used then?"

“I’ll like that, thank you.”
 “Okay, that’s settled then.”

 At that point, she looked at King. King nodded his permission for her to continue. “Another thing that really helped me is this: I work with young girls that have gone through this and are still going through it.

  I volunteer at an NGO that helps girls like that and we do all we can to get them out of the situation  through my issues while helping others work through that. I can connect you if you’re interested in that too.”

  “I’d really love that!” Alewa exclaimed.
 “Wow, that’ll be so interesting.”
 “I’m glad you’re excited about this Alewa.”
 “Oh yes I am. I’d love a chance to help someone going through what I’m going through.”

 “Awesome. So I should set it up?”
 “Could you hold off on that for a bit?” she asked.
  Georgina looked confused.

 “I’m not backing out. It’s just that I’ll love a chance to see that therapist you mentioned earlier. I think it’s better I work through my problems first, before trying to help other,”  she explained.

 “Alright. That’s fair enough.”
  “Cool.” She looked to King again, and he nodded just as he did earlier. Georgina cleared her throat and dived in. “Alewa, there’s something else I purposely left till the end; not because it’s less important but because it might be the best decision you ever made.” She paused.

  “I’m listening.” Alewa was curious to hear what she’s about to say. Georgina looked her in the eye. “King told me you were averse to the idea of going to church?”
 Alewa looked away. “I don’t really want to get into that right now.”

 “I understand. But can I say something?”

  “Go ahead Georgina.”
  “You must understand that I’m not trying to coerce you into what you don’t feel comfortable doing, but the fact is God has been a big part of my life for years now and he played a significant role in how I was able to move on and attain peace. I don’t want you to trifle with that. At the very least, think about King’s offer.”

  Alewa looked at her steadily for some seconds. She looked towards King too and he smiled. “Okay, I’ll go with him this Sunday,” she finally said.
 Georgina beamed. “Fantastic! Now let me get the card of that therapist. I’ll be right back.” She excused herself.

King hugged Alewa the moment Georgina was out of the room. “I’m really proud of you my dear. Now, you can embark on your healing journey.”
“Thank you King. But church?” she asked doubtfully “I know how you feel about that. Just try it out this once, and if you don’t like it then I won’t bother you about it anymore.”

 “Okay then. Let’s try that this Sunday.”
  “Awesome.”
   
    ***

 Eight weeks later
 Alewa stood at the door watching the girls in the room. They were all involved in one activity or the other. Some were reading, some playing games, and some knitting. One girl was seated by herself at the corner, reading a huge book, and glancing at the other girls from time to time.

Some of the girls had trouble fitting in and Hannah was one of those. She approached her where she was seated.
 “Hannah, is everything alright?”

  “Yes ma’am.”
 “You look rather uncomfortable sitting there.”
 “Oh, I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. These girls seem really happy.”
Alewa smiled. “I assure you they are.”

 “That’s really something.” Alewa saw the longing in her heart. She patted her knee. “Don’t worry, you’ll get there. It takes some of us more time than others.”
 Hannah nodded. “Thank you Miss.”

Alewa patted her knee once more. “You’ll be fine,” she told her and walked out.
 To think she herself had come so far in just two months. She had grown from the lady who was scared of her own shadow, to the one who could confidently work with girls like these.



Now that she had found a purpose, her life was much more meaningful. King and Georgina had been there for her all the way. They had helped her when she needed help, and encouraged her when she felt like giving up. Going to church with King had been the best decision she made as Georgina predicted. She felt renewed, refreshed and rebirthed when she gave her life to Christ.

 She did not fully understand this God yet, but she was working at it and focusing on her walk with him one day at a time.

The therapist Georgina recommended had been helpful too, but after two weeks of seeing her every day, Alewa was ready to move on. She was ready to focus her time and energy on helping those like her.

Her introduction to the NGO had gone very smoothly. Alewa had been there for a week now and she was enjoying every minute of it. She resigned her job at the company she was with so she could focus more on this. She had enough money to last her through her lifetime and she could afford to share also.

After she finally had something to live for, she decided to take her disease seriously. She commenced taking her drugs religiously and she felt better for making that decision. Even her doctor had been surprised when she told him she was coming in regularly for check-ups. She is taking that one day at a time too.

Her cell phone rang, she checked the caller ID and smiled when she saw it was King.


Watch out for the concluding part of this series coming soon.


Friday, March 01, 2019

Forever (7)






It’s happening already, she thought. He does not want anything to do with me anymore

. King was still staring at her in shock. “Don’t tell me it was your dad……?” he asked hoarsely Alewa gave a tiny nod of affirmation. King slumped back in his seat and covered his face with his hands.

 Alewa kept her eyes down with tears trickling down her face. She could not look at him, she could not bear to see the censure in his eyes, she did not want to see the disgust, and the revulsion he must be feeling.

 “Alewa…” King whispered. She didn’t look up and she didn’t answer him, she just kept her face down, crying silently. King reached for her hand once more and held it tightly in his. That gave her the courage to look up. She slowly raised her head and looked into his eyes fearfully.

 She did not see any revulsion, she did not see any censure; all she saw was compassion, with tears swimming in his eyes. Alewa could not help herself, she just started sobbing loudly.

King quickly composed himself and called for the waiter to bring their check. He paid for their meal quickly and drew Alewa to her feet, wrapped his arms around her and led her out of the restaurant. He could feel the other diners’ eyes on them as they walked out. They were probably thinking he just broke up with her.

 He led her to his car, opened the door and deposited her in the back seat. He then joined her there, still holding her, allowing her to cry her heart out and let go of the hurt. What type of father will do this to his daughter? I don’t understand Lord. Why did her father do this to her? He thought frantically as he consoled her. Feed my lamb, he heard a quiet voice whisper in his spirit. He listened carefully and heard clearly once more, feed my sheep.

He started praying quietly. Father, he began. Lead me and guide me, give me the wisdom to deal with this situation. This is your daughter, she is hurting, and she is in pain. Heal her Lord, grant her peace in her spirit and restore order into her life. Let her see clearly that you are the only one who can take her pain away. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 Immediately he finished praying, he felt peaceful and he knew what he had to do. By the time Alewa calmed down enough to notice what was happening around her, they were on the move. King was driving and she did not know where they were or where they were headed to. It was so dark out; she could not see anything beyond the car window.

 “King.” She called tentatively He looked back immediately and regarded her. “How are you feeling?” he smiled.
“Much better. Where are we going?”

 “Just relax. I’ll explain everything when we get there. We are not so far now.” Alewa relaxed and closed her eyes. Her eyes were so sore from crying and she had a pounding headache, but at the same time she felt light, as if some weight had been lifted off her. She felt almost clean. Few minutes later, King pulled over on a side street. He parked the car and switched off the engine. Then he turned back to her and started talking.

 “Alewa, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through in your young life.
Nobody should go through that, and I know sorry cannot begin to heal the pain and hurts in your heart but that is all I have to offer. I’m deeply sorry and I hope I can be a friend to you, loving you and helping you through it all.”

“Thank you.” she said quietly, grateful for his support “I have a friend who went through a similar experience as yours and this is who I brought you to meet. I believe she can help you through this, offer some support and aid when you need it, and just be one more shoulder to rely on. She lives in this neighborhood, and I’ll like you to meet her tonight. Maybe, you both can begin the healing process.”

Alewa was curious about this friend of his. She nodded. “Okay.”

 King got out of the front seat and came around to help her out too. He held her hand and led her to an apartment building at the corner. The street was deserted but Alewa could see a few stragglers walking around. She held on tightly as King led the way. Shortly, they came to the door of what looked like a two bedroom flat. King knocked cautiously and Alewa heard shuffling inside and then a woman’s melodious voice.



“Who is there?” she asked.

 “It’s me, King.” he replied “Oh!” she unlocked the door and opened it. Alewa could tell she was excited to see him.

 “Hiiii.” She gave him a hug, King hugged her without letting go of Alewa’s hand. He quickly stepped back so the lady could see he was not alone. Alewa could tell she was surprised to see her beside King, and holding hands. Alewa saw her mouth tighten slightly when she saw their hands tightly clasped.

Alewa tried to remove her hand from King’s, concerned she was infringing on another woman’s territory but King would not let go. She relaxed slightly and went with the flow.

 “Hello Georgina.” King said.

“May we come in?”

 “Of course.” Georgina smiled. She stepped back and motioned them in. King went ahead of Alewa, dragging her along. The room they stepped into was tastefully furnished and quite spacious. Alewa fell in love with the ambience immediately.
King led her to a settee on the far side of the room and sat down beside her.

Georgina also sat on a single chair opposite them. She looked at them expectantly, waiting for them to state the reason for their visit. Georgina was a very pretty woman. Very fair in complexion and tall. Almost as tall as King, Alewa observed. She smiled at King and Alewa could detect a bit of emotion behind the smile. This woman felt a lot more for King than mere friendship. “I’m sorry for barging in on you like this, dear.” King began. “And with a total stranger too but I assure you I have very good reasons for doing so.”

 “You don’t need to apologize King. You’re always welcome in my home.”

 He smiled. “Thank you. This is Alewa Mathews. She’s a very good friend of mine.” Georgina looked at her and smiled. “Welcome Alewa, I’m pleased to meet you.”

“Same here.” Alewa replied “And this is Georgina Makinde, a good friend of mine also.” King said to Alewa. They smiled at one another. “Can I talk with you for a few minutes?” King asked.

 “Yeah sure.” He turned to Alewa. ‘I’ll be back in a few.” He told her.

 She nodded and it was only then he let go of her hand. They stepped outside and closed the door behind them. Alewa took the opportunity to check her surroundings. She stood up and walked around the room admiring the paintings and pictures on the wall.

 She moved to the mantle, saw some books arranged neatly to one side and a display of photographs on the other side. She perused the titles of the books and saw some she had read, and some she had never heard of. She moved on to properly observe the photographs.

She saw one of Georgina, in a lawyer wig smiling at the camera, she saw another one of her with an older woman, obviously her mother, and the last one was of her and King, arms around each other, laughing at a private joke. A photograph of King, in an honorary position, right on her mantle.

Yep, there was definitely more than friendship between these two. She didn’t know the feeling that coursed through her looking at the picture, but she knew it wasn’t happiness.

Just then, the door opened and they both walked in. Alewa smiled and went back to her seat. King approached her where she sat and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry I had to do that but I needed time to explain all this to her.”

“That’s okay.” Alewa said. “What’s the next step now?”

 “She’ll tell you about it but I know she can help.”

 “Okay then.” Alewa turned to Georgina. “What do we do now?”

“Before we start anything, I just want you to know that I know exactly what you’re going through. I went through something similar myself but it was an uncle who molested me; it’s all the same to me though because these men are supposed to protect us, instead they put us in a position where we need to be protected from them. I know how you feel, and I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I appreciate that Georgina. I’m sorry you had to go through it too.”

 Georgina nodded.
 “Having said that, let’s move on to the next issue.” She looked to Alewa for permission. Alewa nodded to let her know she was listening. “I think you need to see a therapist to work you through your emotions and what you may be feeling. I saw a therapist and that really helped me have closure and move on. Although, this thing is going to be with me throughout my life, I am at least equipped to control my feelings and reactions to it.”

She paused to make sure Alewa was listening...


 To be continued


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