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Friday, November 13, 2015

'A Native Doctor Impregnated My Wife... Now I'm Considering Suicide!' (2)

The day she returned from the village was the day that our lives changed. We had long hours of discussion in order to catch up with all that took place within the period we were apart. That night I hoped that our love making would bring forth a child which we have so longed for; though I did not really believe that the native doctor's incantation and concoction would get my wife pregnant because only God gives children and not man. It was when I was about to get intimate with my wife that I noticed that something had gone wrong. I withdrew from her immediately and asked her:

“What type of treatment did you receive from the native doctor?” I asked as I rolled off her. I was attached to my wife both body and soul. Some people even suspect that I used charm or something of the likes on my wife.
“What's wrong?” she asked and tried to pull me back.
“I just want to know,” I said.
“Is that why you are moving away from me?" she queried.

“Naomi, you are not the way I left you,” I said, trying to be as calm as possible because I was already angry.
“Rufus what has gone wrong with you?” she asked.
“Don’t try to play dumb with me because you know what I am talking about,” I informed her.
“I don’t understand,” she said with tears running down her face.

 “Someone has touched you and you know how much I detest lies,” I stated firmly.
“We have been married for thirteen years and I have never cheated on you for once, not even when people advised me to sleep with another man to see if he could get me pregnant or leave you because you were not a man. How can I then go to the village and have an affair?” she asked.

 “That’s a question which only you can answer and please start telling the truth before I do something we will both regret for the rest of our lives,” I threatened.
“Do your worst because I have told you that no one touched me,” she retorted.  
That night I didn’t touch her and didn’t sleep in the room with her because I was sure that someone had eaten out of my 'cake' and it broke my heart that my wife could still fake being faithful to me. 

 After that day, I stopped eating her food or sleeping with her. I went to work early before she woke up and returned home when she had gone to bed.
Some weeks later, I noticed that my wife’s body was changing, her complexion looked brighter, her breasts looked bigger and she was slow in movement. She tried for weeks for us to have a conversation but I avoided it because I was still mad at her.
One evening, she came to my new resting place, the living room, and asked if we could have a talk. I refused to listen to her even though she stated her mind even with my rejection.

  “I am pregnant,” she said.
The words hit me so hard that I felt like doing something to her, but I was able to control myself.
“What did you just say?” I asked her because I thought I didn’t hear her clearly, but I heard her.  
She repeated her statement.
“Is this a way of trying to make me talk to you or you have decided to let nonsense come out of your mouth?”

 “I am four months gone,” she said. The demons in me were struggling to act, to do something nasty to her, to shut her mouth but I was able to hold back.
“What are you saying? Because I don't understand you. Please make me understand," I urged her.  
“I am pregnant,” she repeated.
“For who?” The question blurted out of my mouth.
“Where, when and how did it happen?”  

 She was already shaking and couldn’t communicate clearly.
“I know you are not the owner and that is what I want to explain to you,” she said.
“Were you this desperate, my dear wife? I don’t need any explanation from you because you are a disgrace to me. No wonder you wanted me to sleep with you so that you can claim that I am responsible for the pregnancyyou’re a wicked woman, Naomi, God has exposed you and your wickedness,” I shouted, but my wife stood still and watched me and cried.

 “Rufus I am sorry for what I didI was ashamed. I couldn’t just look you in the eyes and tell you that another man slept with me. I am ashamed of myself,” she said.
“What do you want me to do, father another man’s child? God forbid!” I shouted at her and spat on the floor. My heart was beating very fast and I felt like punching her so hard in the belly so that the bastard in her can look for another place to develop.
“Who is responsible for it?” I managed to ask her.  Naomi was too embarrassed to answer and she started crying again.

 Again I asked, “Who is responsible for the pregnancy?”
“The native doctor,” she revealed.
“What?” I shouted.
“ doc..tor,” she stammered, shaking all the while. I was dumbfounded, short of words and filled with rage. Wondering what could have made my wife sleep with the native doctor up to the level of him getting her pregnant. Which means it wasn’t once or twice that he slept with her. 
 "Was his sleeping with you part of the treatment or did you do this to bring shame to my name? I won’t let you disgrace me like this, you will go back to your family and give birth to the child because God knows I can’t father that thing… another man’s child. I want a child but not this way," I informed her. She was just weeping and said nothing.
 “I knew those evil men are not to be trusted.”

 I was so disappointed in my wife that I left the house that night at about 1 am with no destination in mind. I had to leave as I was afraid I could do something drastic to her. I was wondering if I should leave her because I felt humiliated by what she did to me. As I was in my car driving round the town, I wondered what to do, whether to run away from there and start a new life- but I loved her so much, so much that I wouldn’t want to leave her; yet I didn’t want to be with her because another man’s child was inside her. 

  I went back home after driving around for what seemed like three hours, my heart beat was so fast that I thought I would have a heart attack that night. I went straight to the room I was occupying and got myself drunk with brandy, thinking that it will take the hurt away, but the heartache refused to go.
I couldn’t go to work for days, I couldn’t eat nor sleep. It was like the whole world was on shoulders. Naomi tried to make me eat but I refused her and her food, which I felt would kill me if I put it in my mouth.

  “Don’t disturb me, go and feed your lover the native doctor. I don’t need your food since you have decided to disgrace me this way," I said. She pleaded but I paid no attention to her.
I was in this sorry state of mind for three weeks and it landed me in the hospital. It was there in my hospital bed that I made up my mind that my wife would either leave or get rid of the pregnancy. When I got home that day after I was discharged, I told my wife about my final decision. I couldn’t just stay back and watch things continue to be in such a mess.

 “I have told you from the onset that I will not father another man’s child just because I want to be a father. So, what do you intend to do with this pregnancy?” I asked hoping that she had thought of what to do with it while I was at the hospital. 
“I don’t know what to do,” she said after much hesitation. “I don’t know what came over meI am confused and I wish I could wake from this nightmare,” she stated.
 “How do you mean by that, did you not think of the consequences when you opened your legs for that old man? Well, I can’t father another man’s child. The options now are for us to end this marriage or you get rid of that thing,” I told her. 

 “What! Leave or get rid of what?”
“You heard me right, woman," I told her.
 "I can’t believe what you just said. I have made a mistake and every problem has its solution," she pointed out.
"I know and I have given you two solutions, so make your choice," I responded.

 My wife later accepted the second option, abortion and we made arrangements to see a doctor. It was this very option that made my life what it is today. My Naomi started bleeding few days after visiting the doctor and she died as a result of this.
I have not been able to tell anyone what really caused the death of my lifeI lied that my wife had a miscarriage and died after bleeding for days while guilt have been my companion ever since this happened.

 I regret telling her to get rid of the Babalawo's (native doctor) baby. If she had kept the pregnancy, my darling wife would be alive today not six feet below. Now, my life is empty, full of regrets and pains. Loneliness is my daily companion and there are times I feel like taking my life. I feel suicidal most of the time. For what is the point of going on living without my sweet Naomi?

To be continued...

Note: a native doctor is like a shaman who is often consulted on spiritual and physical matters.

Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

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